OK, I'm not a genius. There are lots of things I don't know anything about. Some things I know a little bit about. And a few things I know enough about to be dangerous.

One of the things I know enough about to be dangerous is sex. I've pretty much got the fundamentals down pat. And thanks to Mrs. Julie Golgan, my high school biology teacher, I know my fair share about the basics of human sexuality -- you know, body parts, how things work, what makes them work, the X chromosomes and the Y chromosomes and all that stuff.

So imagine my surprise last Thursday, when a story on Page 1 of The York Dispatch did its very best to convince me my education and life experience, as it relates to sex, is full of holes.

I thought I knew some things. But maybe not as much as I thought.

For instance, my understanding of fertilization and conception is about as straightforward as it gets. The female of the species offers eggs with the X chromosome only. The male of the species offers sperm with X and Y chromosomes. And the eggs basically just sit there waiting to see which of the sperm swims more quickly through all the hoops, and which chromosome reaches the fertile egg first.

If it's the X chromosome, the resulting child will be an XX or a girl. If it's the Y chromosome, the child will be an XY or a boy.

I'm positive Mrs. Golgan told us 45 years ago that the male of the species always determines the gender of the child. Period. The female has nothing to do with determining the

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sex of the offspring. In my mind, that is one of the basics of human reproduction.

But there's a story, based on research done in the United Kingdom, that suggests that what a woman eats before pregnancy influences the gender of the baby. Want a boy? Eat a banana.

No, no, no. Not possible. Mrs. Golgan said all that matters is the Xs and Ys. The female provides the X and the male provides either an X or a Y. One gives you a girl, the other gives you a boy.

And it shouldn't matter if Mom was eating bubble gum, tofu, sardines or macaroni and cheese prior to conception, because her diet will not change the fact that she's only offering the X chromosome. The egg is incomplete without the sperm.

According to the story, though, extra potassium in the diet of the female will produce sons more frequently than daughters. Potassium-rich foods such as bananas, apricots, raisins, figs, baked potatoes with the skin left on, veal, bran flakes and nuts do make a difference.

Something about creating a more hospitable environment to the sperm carrying the Y chromosome.

Oh, and another thing, women who eat breakfast every morning (especially cereal) are alleged to have more boy babies than women who eat cereal once a week.

So what does that tell us? Well, if true, it could tell us that it takes more nutrients to make a boy than a girl.

Nah! I'm not buying it.
I'd like to think it matters what the mother eats, but I've seen lots of women with questionable eating habits -- they don't eat a banana or a fig from one year to the next. And they push out their share of boys.

Likewise, I've seen plenty of women who eat a banana a day, apricots, nuts, baked potatoes and more bran than any human should have to eat giving birth to girl babies.

So, yes, I'm skeptical about this research.

Things change all the time in this world. Certainly enough to keep us all guessing.

But one thing that hasn't changed for 10,000 years is the Xs and Ys of sex, fertilization and conception. Mrs. Golgan told me so.

(My apologies to Mrs. Golgan if I'm not remembering all of this accurately.)

Columns by Larry A. Hicks, Dispatch columnist, run Mondays, Wednesdays and Fri days. E-mail: lhicks@yorkdispatch.com.